The other day, after a long restless day of work I was chilling out on my bed when it suddenly drew my attention; Dark brown, with long legs and a slim figure on the corner of my ceiling, very still; A Spider!
You see, I’m the kind of person who’s mostly cool towards such matters; insects and such I mean. I have my very own philosophy towards them; That being very kind and concerned about them; pitying them for their weakness and always being careful not to accidentally or deliberately crush them.
But no matter how much you care about them, It’s a spider after all and you’ll eventually have more concern for your ears or nostrils, right? And so against my will, I had to kill it or if I wanna put it less harshly, I let it go to a better place.
This is my side of the story, and perhaps the one that’s less pleasant. Now let’s see what the spider has to say, ha?
On a cold winter night precisely at 10 PM a spider is born into this world of chaos and confusion. He still doesn’t have a conscience at this point for he’s very very new to this world.
His needs are just eating and excretion and sleep and he doesn’t have the faintest about life and the universe cause he’s so darn young you see.
He goes wherever life (at this point being those around him) takes him and has no–and I mean NO sense of direction! this tiny little spider of ours is just a tiny being, struggling in this massive cosmos!
Little by little he learns about life and the steps he takes tend to get some kind of direction, right or wrong. He asks a lot of questions and grows to a tiny extent. He’s not aware of his growth yet though.
Then he starts to have his first real experiences; of love and of those special moments in life; of lies and of those dirty moments in life; of mere happiness and of sorrow and such. He thinks he knows a little; He’s mistakenly wrong though and doesn’t even know it yet.
Then he makes a few friends; All spiders of course cause he can only fit in with them. He experiences some new things again, some being way to pleasant and overwhelming for him while others just a bit different; no matter what, he’s still so happy and excited about the whole thing, and is still thinking he actually knows something. poor naive thing!
Our teeny spider now goes through a change of beliefs while encountering some new people, he changes attitude and feels kinda new, supposing that life is fair after all and that he only has to find a new way; a better one at that. he thinks he’s passed the confusion phase and that at this point he’s finally found the way…the hard way!
He becomes more daring and as time goes by he gets tougher and tougher, or so he thinks!! He actually pulls a few stunts the old him would’ve never even dreamt of. but still at a certain point, at the end of the day he realizes…”I’m as confused as ever! and nothing has really really changed”
Those around him have learnt to cherish and respect him so highly by now and THAT, he likes and lives up to. But there are times he doubts all those loved ones and thinks of this universe and himself; one on one.
He feels desperate and at the same time so so powerful; on top of this frigging world! and so he goes high. Up up in the sky; so high that he doesn’t even see his eight-legged fellows and thinks he’s the one. Then again, self doubt once more, brings him so so down!
Our little spider, now with a bit of hope and perspective, figures he still has a lot to learn and that one day he would know more, but never quite enough…he decides to take a soothing walk one day just to clear his mind…
And guess what? that walk of his happens to take place on a certain ceiling; my ceiling and he ends up being squashed!
He dies without even knowing what happened or where all his hopes were gone to? how or what or when it happened? he had so many hopes? all gone in a second! is that even fair?
such is life I guess.
The funny thing about it is; I don’t even hate spiders or am not even scared of them.